I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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