if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
