ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
