summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
