i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
