I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
