He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize