It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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