Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm so fucking centered right now
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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