home. puking in laundry basket.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Randomize
