Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
