Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He did a backflip because drugs
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