A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I had to cum in my sink.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
