I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
