At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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