I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
