Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Can I color on your dick again?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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