he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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