Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
