His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
