It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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