You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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