Where did you get a picture of my penis
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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