And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We had sex on a dog bed..
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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