I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
