she woke up with a sticky ear
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
