it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
