Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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