I am in a vortex of obligation.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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