I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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