They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
