Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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