Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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