I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Someone came in the potted fern
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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