I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
