I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
