he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
