I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
