Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
