super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
