I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
