If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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