By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
