What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
are you so shy because you have an std?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
