whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
they're like a gay fantastic four
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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