So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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