please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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