Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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