2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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