i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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