that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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